Trump Denies Giving America Herpes
“America knew what she was doing,” said Donald Trump, sitting at his desk and biting into a cheeseburger. “I’m really the victim. America isn’t even good looking. Very ugly, if…
Donald Trump and Ivanka Enjoy Romantic Dinner in Staten Island
“They flirted with each other all night,” said Angelo Rossi, owner of Meetza Da Pizza, the venerable go-to restaurant for Italian comfort food in Staten Island. “They’ve both been under…
Matt Gaetz Says Greta Thunberg “Way, Way Too Old” to be Sexy
“I don’t get this fascination with the Greta Thunberg,” said House Representative Matt Gaetz (R-FL). “Greta is way, way too old to be sexy for my own personal sexual preferences—and…