Political Americans: Satire for the End of Democracy
Bringing the funny to the fight against election deniers, fascists, and power-obsessed traitors.
“This is a great day in our nation’s history,” explained Mitch McConnell, the Republican Senate Minority Leader from Kentucky. “We have managed to completely undermine the democratic process, voting procedures,…
“Speed limits are freedom limits,” said Republican Governor of Virginia Glenn Youngkin. “Speed limits are big government telling us how to live our lives by limiting how fast we can…
“Introducing PEDOs!” said Ohio Republican House Representative Jim Jordan. “I created the brand name myself based on, well, the word pedestrians, which has to do with the feet—in this case…
“Chuck Todd and Meet the Press have been instrumental in our attempt to undermine democracy,” said Republican Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin. “With Chuck agreeing to offer our destructive agenda…
“It’s nothing personal,” said Republican Kentucky Senator Rand Paul. “It’s just business. As a doctor, I understand how misinformation and lies can promote the spread of death and disease. As…
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – An original copy of Donald J. Trump’s original birth certificate, issued by a hospital in Nairobi, Kenya, is among the thousands of documents recovered by the National…
“Being new to America is like being new at a fraternity,” said Fox News host Tucker Carlson. “Every freshman class at the frat goes through a pledging process, and every…
This morning, at his resort headquarters in Mar-a-Lago, Florida, Donald Trump awarded the Purple Heart to Gary “Gonzoid” Simpson, 34, a self-proclaimed Proud Boy raised by an absentee dad, for…
“I’m proud to announce that Republican voters with Covid in Florida can now submit their 2022 ballots as an email attachment,” said Ron DeSantis, GOP Governor of Florida. “This expedited…
“Let’s face it,” said GOP Texas Representative and House Caucus Freedom Member Chip Roy, “we’re not going to win any elections based on our ideas—because we don’t have any ideas.…
“I’m so freaking excited to be partnering with Matt Gaetz to open up franchises of racist Cobra Kai dojos across the South to prepare our youth for the next Civil…
“They have to know this is over. Finished. Finito.” General Mark A. Milley, 20th Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said. “We had a good run. And let’s face…
“We partnered with the best of the best,” said Kim Jong-un, the supreme leader of North Korea and U.S. basketball fanboy. “Fox News has enjoyed unbridled success in brainwashing Americans,…
“I wanted to find new ways to expand the use cases for the My Pillow line,” explained Michael “Mike” Lindell, founder of My Pillow and Man Who Berates Children Loitering…
“Mission almost accomplished,” joked the former President of the United States, adding the last few strokes to his 500-foot wall mural in Bushwick, Brooklyn. “Done,” he then exhaled, tossing the…
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