Carrie Underwood, or a reconstructed version of Carrie Underwood, will celebrate the storied history of racism in country music by performing at the Trump Bigotry Festival on January 20, which fringe media outlets convicted of publishing lies and hateful rhetoric, like Fox News, are characterizing as a presidential inauguration.
“I’m super excited to join fellow election deniers and hate-filled country music fans at this historic event,” said Underwood, trying to find her reflection in a bottle of kombucha. “Country music has always been about masquerading our contempt for foreigners and non-whites through the facade of patriotism, Christianity, and our fake aw-shucks humility. It’s been a pretty successful business model here in Nashville and beyond.”
“Every real fan knows the core of bro-country music is three chords and a douche. I’m honored to be joining Kid Rock, Jason Aldean, and John Rich as we celebrate Donald Trump, the ultimate hypocritical bigot and douche, even by country music standards, at the white-friendly rally on the Mall on January 20. It’s going to be lit.”
