Political Americans: Satire for the End of Democracy
Bringing the funny to the fight against election deniers, fascists, and power-obsessed traitors.
Political Americans: Business
In the wake of the shocking early morning shooting of the CEO of UnitedHealth in New York City, top brass at leading health insurance companies have scheduled a ten-day conference…
“Project 2025 will ensure every federal agency and international relationship is optimized for maximum levels of corruption,” said Charles Kushner, celebrated slum lord and father of Saudi Arabian money launderer…
“We’re going to colonize Mars just like we colonized America–by enslaving certain races of human beings to do the grueling work that white people don’t want to do,” said Elon…
“Now that this Trump business is over,” said Jack Smith, pouring out his briefcase into a dumpster behind the Department of Justice, “I can get back to protecting America from…
“It’s such an honor,” said Pam Bondi, curling her eyelashes in a full-length mirror in her Florida kitchen. “Not only did President-elect Trump ask me to be the Attorney General…
“Trump’s tariffs are going to make them Chinese people pay,” said Misty Muffoon, cradling her newborn grandson, a cigarette tucked into the corner of her mouth. “Ain’t no one gonna…
A planned class action lawsuit representing thousands of lonely men who live in their parents’ basements will be filed against people who post on the social media site Bluesky, many…
“Vegetables are nasty, especially radishes,” said President-elect Trump, grabbing for a french fry that had fallen into his lap. “So I’m destroying the entire salad industry by deporting the brown…
Every generation of Americans asks itself the same question: What is the price of freedom? Over the centuries, those generations of Americans have responded with different answers as to what…
As part of his anti-woke campaign, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and two undisclosed business partners are opening a fast-food restaurant “Manatee Burger,” which will serve burgers made from the meat…
“The Oath Keepers turned out to be a bunch of losers,” explained Representative Kevin McCarthy (R-CA). “While they were dumb and desperate enough to take the fall for all of…
“These two media brands belong together,” said Rupert Murdoch, media tycoon and founder of News Corp, the parent company of Fox News. “Fox News and Russia Today are world-class leaders…
“They need jobs,” explained Ted Cruz, Republican Senator from Texas. “So why not pay them to be political actors in our constant barrage of ‘Biden Border Crisis’ propaganda? It’s a…
“Introducing PEDOs!” said Ohio Republican House Representative Jim Jordan. “I created the brand name myself based on, well, the word pedestrians, which has to do with the feet—in this case…
“I wanted to find new ways to expand the use cases for the My Pillow line,” explained Michael “Mike” Lindell, founder of My Pillow and Man Who Berates Children Loitering…
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