Political Americans: Satire for the End of Democracy
Bringing the funny to the fight against election deniers, fascists, and power-obsessed traitors.
Political Americans: Dystopia
“It’s not often that we oligarchs can get together and celebrate special moments together,” said Russian President Vladimir Putin, eating a whole raw chicken on his megayacht at an undisclosed…
“Little Marco is the name of a key MS-13 cell leader based in Miami,” said Kevin Bullock, ICE agent and proud middle school graduate of Newsbury Middle School. “We’d been…
Fresh off a tantrum that motivated fellow toddler Donald Trump to declare–in front of the White House–that anyone who says Teslas are shitty cars a “domestic terrorist,” Elon Musk has…
Volodymyr Zelensky, President of Ukraine, sent the White House an official invoice for the amount of $735 for babysitting expenses incurred during his recent visit to the United States. Zelensky…
“We resent being called the ‘DOGE DOUCHES’,” said Edward Coristine, blowing bubbles through a plastic straw into his shirley temple. “Every night before tucking us into our sleeping bags on…
The NYTimes, Washington Post, and other outlets that spent 2024 translating Donald Trump’s garble into English are now defending the body language of the US’s actual President and product of…
“At Trump Properties, we like to embrace the local culture and environment when building our first-class resorts,” said President Trump at Mar-a-Lago, beating a ladybug into a patch of grass…
The Trump administration recently announced–in addition to gaudy shoes, Bibles manufactured in China, and dark web NFTs and bitcoins–the release of an “exciting” new line of greeting cards inspired by…
“We’re freeing all of the January 6 heroes from U.S. jails and forming a special assault regiment,” said Donald Trump, wiping ketchup from his face with an American flag. “These…
“Donald J. Trump represents a modern interpretation of Jesus,” said Reverend Marcus Copeland, spiritual leader of the Big Stick Christianity movement sweeping across Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. “Our 2.1…
“Those Nigerian boys were a gift from a dear friend,” said Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, lighting a Cuban cigar on a Washington D.C. sidewalk, flicking the match at a…
Every generation of Americans asks itself the same question: What is the price of freedom? Over the centuries, those generations of Americans have responded with different answers as to what…
“We partnered with the best of the best,” said Kim Jong-Un, the supreme leader of North Korea and U.S. basketball fanboy. “Fox News has enjoyed unbridled success in brainwashing Americans,…
“It’s such an honor,” said Pam Bondi, curling her eyelashes in a full-length mirror in her Florida kitchen. “Not only did President Trump ask tap me as the Attorney General…
“Nothing is more woke than the idea that all human beings are created equal,” said Kash Patel, whose Indian Gujarati parents–in a retrospective ironic twist–immigrated to Canada in the 1970s…
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