Political Americans: Satire for the End of Democracy
Bringing the funny to the fight against election deniers, fascists, and power-obsessed traitors.
Political Americans: Politics
As part of his anti-woke campaign, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis and two undisclosed business partners are opening a fast-food restaurant “Manatee Burger,” which will serve burgers made from the meat…
“It all started with red wine and the World Cup,” said Musk, back in the U.S., staring at his hand. “Admittedly, I was a bit giddy from watching Messi score…
“You know those assholes who go to Halloween costume parties but don’t dress up?” said Kyle Rittenhouse, a teenage vigilante who killed two people to win his mother’s love, “Well,…
“I can’t think of a more important person to the story of America than Ashli Babbitt,” said legendary filmmaker and documentarian Ken Burns. “Ashli Babbitt’s story is the story of…
“I couldn’t have played my part in ending democracy without the help of the Lord Jesus Christ, our Holy Savior,” said Arizona Senator Krysten Sinema—who, as an Independent, is totally…
“This is part of our Wakanda Strategy,” said Jeff Row, leading Republican strategist and founder of Axis Strategies. “We know that black people only go to black movies—like those Wakanda…
“America knew what she was doing,” said Donald Trump, sitting at his desk and biting into a cheeseburger. “I’m really the victim. America isn’t even good looking. Very ugly, if…
“The Oath Keepers turned out to be a bunch of losers,” explained Representative Kevin McCarthy (R-CA). “While they were dumb and desperate enough to take the fall for all of…
“These two media brands belong together,” said Rupert Murdoch, media tycoon and founder of News Corp, the parent company of Fox News. “Fox News and Russia Today are world-class leaders…
“They flirted with each other all night,” said Angelo Rossi, owner of Meetza Da Pizza, the venerable go-to restaurant for Italian comfort food in Staten Island. “They’ve both been under…
“It all began when Dancing with the Stars approached both me and my wife,” said associate justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, Clarence Thomas. “But we wouldn’t be able to…
“They need jobs,” explained Ted Cruz, Republican Senator from Texas. “So why not pay them to be political actors in our constant barrage of ‘Biden Border Crisis’ propaganda? It’s a…
“It was like being at an Eagles game,” said former House Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA). “Our representatives need to learn there is a difference between having a good time undermining…
“This is a great day in our nation’s history,” explained Mitch McConnell, the Republican Senate Minority Leader from Kentucky. “We have managed to completely undermine the democratic process, voting procedures,…
“Speed limits are freedom limits,” said Republican Governor of Virginia Glenn Youngkin. “Speed limits are big government telling us how to live our lives by limiting how fast we can…
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