Progressively Drunk: Thanksgiving Survival Kit for Liberals
For many of us, Thanksgiving used to be our favorite holiday. Not anymore. Thanksgiving is now a day to dread. An excruciating experience where we sit on the couch in…
Heritage Foundation Report: Price of Freedom is $1.05
Every generation of Americans asks itself the same question: What is the price of freedom? Over the centuries, those generations of Americans have responded with different answers as to what…
JD Vance Sequel “Hillbilly Hitler” Wins Southern Literary Prize
“I couldn’t be prouder to win the DeSantis Prize for White Literature,” said Trump VP pick JD Vance. “White people have been persecuted ever since the black slaves arrived in…
High Schools in Red States Launch Racist Student Exchange Program
“It’s so heartwarming to see a young racists from Germany make such great friends with young racists in Georgia,” said Larry Parker, Head Principal of Cordell Hills Prep School. “We’re…
GOP Courts Bill Cosby To Win Over Black Voters
“This is part of our Wakanda Strategy,” said Jeff Row, leading Republican strategist and founder of Axis Strategies. “We know that black people only go to black movies—like those Wakanda…
GOP Drops Oath Keepers, Seeks MS-13 for Next Insurrection
“The Oath Keepers turned out to be a bunch of losers,” explained Representative Kevin McCarthy (R-CA). “While they were dumb and desperate enough to take the fall for all of…
Ted Cruz Paid Illegal Immigrants to Cross U.S. Border
“They need jobs,” explained Ted Cruz, Republican Senator from Texas. “So why not pay them to be political actors in our constant barrage of ‘Biden Border Crisis’ propaganda? It’s a…
Fox News Host Tucker Carlson Equates Racism to Fraternity Hazing
“Being new to America is like being new at a fraternity,” said Fox News host Tucker Carlson. “Every freshman class at the frat goes through a pledging process, and every…
GOP Reveals Gerrymandering Strategy Based on Skin Color
“Let’s face it,” said GOP Texas Representative and House Caucus Freedom Member Chip Roy, “we’re not going to win any elections based on our ideas—because we don’t have any ideas.…