This morning, at his resort headquarters in Mar-a-Lago, Florida, Donald Trump awarded the Purple Heart to Gary “Gonzoid” Simpson, 34, a self-proclaimed Proud Boy raised by an absentee dad, for his heroism in attacking Capitol police officers and helping to overwhelm a security barrier on the south side of the Capitol during the January 6 Capitol Riots.
“Gary’s heroism in the face of the terrible enemy is an example of what all great American Patriots should aspire to be,” said Donald Trump, pinning the Purple Heart to Simpson’s hunting jacket. As Trump held up the Purple Heart he turned to the small crowd and said, “These Purple Hearts aren’t easy to come by, you know, we had to buy this one from a World War II veteran on eBay—he needed money for medical expenses.”
“Gary demonstrated incredibly gallant behavior in real hand-to-hand combat,” Trump continued. “He simultaneously shot a Capitol police officer with bear spray—who knew bear spray could be used for so many things—while helping to bravely ram a steel barrier at another officer. But, sadly, during this intense fight, Gary’s right hand got turned by an officer defending himself, and Gary shot himself in the left eye, leaving him blind in that eye for 20 minutes. But Gary kept fighting. And for his heroism I’m proud to pin this Purple Heart medal to his favorite hunting jacket. We are very, very, very proud of this Proud Boy.”
“It’s truly an honor to receive the Purple Heart from Donald Trump in his beautiful Mara Lago clubhouse,” said Simpson. “I know if it wasn’t for his bone spurs, Donald Trump would have been right there at my side fighting the whole time.”
