“Being new to America is like being new at a fraternity,” said Fox News host Tucker Carlson. “Every freshman class at the frat goes through a pledging process, and every new American should as well. Sure, the process is degrading and dehumanizing, but breaking everyone down—whether it’s rimming a senior’s asshole in an empty swimming pool or jokingly slinging racial slurs at colored people while they’re grocery shopping—it’s really just a shared experience in humility. It brings us all down to the same level. It’s actually very bonding. In America, we’re all part of the same fraternity.”
“If fact,” Carlson elaborated. “Being in America is almost exactly like being in a fraternity. It’s all about American exceptionalism—exercising your freedom to be an individual by joining others who look and think like you do, and then making your own shirts and homerotic traditions that show you’re not like everyone else, because you are uniquely you—the American you—that is part of a brotherhood of other exceptional Americans. It’s why immigrants come to this country in the first place. To be part of our American fraternity. If they can’t handle the hazing, then they are not American material.”
Photos: Gage Skidmore