“It all began when Dancing with the Stars approached both me and my wife,” said associate justice of the U.S. Supreme Court, Clarence Thomas. “But we wouldn’t be able to actually dance with each other. So then I thought ‘Hey, Ginni is doing all of this great work to organize insurrectionists and overthrow American democracy—why not do a reality show about her work and my efforts to support her in any way I can as a member of SCOTUS?”
“And so the idea for ‘Ginni In a Bottle’ was born,” said Ginni Thomas, pushing aside her husband’s arm. “As a proud member of the GOP and Donald Trump’s Stop the Steal movement, I’m constantly coordinating communications, raising money, and denying my husband sex until he agress to help our cause from his position as a member of SCOTUS. As you can tell from the public record, I’ve made significant progress.”
“Given the high profile nature of my position in the U.S. Supreme Court,” said Justice Thomas, “I’ve sort of become the face of the Republican Party and Trump’s Stop the Steal movement. And though I like getting credit for my work, the real credit goes to Ginni. I think this new reality show will be an excellent platform for my wife to really shine. And, of course, I’ll always be there to support her cause whenever she needs me.”