Every generation of Americans asks itself the same question: What is the price of freedom?
Over the centuries, those generations of Americans have responded with different answers as to what we were willing to sacrifice to protect democracy in America. For early Americans in 1861-1865 it was 620,000 deaths from the Civil War (about 360,000 Union soldiers).
For more recent generations it was dying on the battlefields of Europe and the Pacific to stop Hitler and the Japanese; the price, 407,316 dead Americans. The Vietnam War, where we lost 58,220 American soldiers, was fought to protect our beloved democracy from the international spread of Soviet communism. Then there was the War on Terror, 7,000 soldiers.
Despite policy conflicts and political turmoil, throughout it all — the bloodshed, the death, and the broken families — our flag was still there. We held the line. We never gave up on our values. We knew the price: more than 1 million dead Americans who perished for the freedom we grew up with.
And then we gave it all away.
For eggs.
A recent Heritage Report reveals that our democracy was handed over to a fascist kleptocrat for fucking eggs. And maybe some butter. The fall of democracy wasn’t the result of a failed war against a surging foreign power or a terrorist attack on our home soil. We killed it. For fucking breakfast and shit.
As greedy companies drove up prices and stoked inflation — a temporary, recognizable economic situation — contemporary Americans, courageously huddled in their gambling apps, bro culture podcasts, and porn addictions, decided it was all just too much to bare. Though America was experiencing solid employment numbers, we simply could not withstand the thought of not being able to travel to Cancun next year. Someone had to pay. Someone needed to learn a lesson. Someone needed to go.
Lady Liberty, let’s lock that bitch up and chain her in the dungeon of autocracy. Eggs were expensive. Which meant the great American experiment had failed. Omelettes were like $18. The horror. Let’s burn this shit down.
The Heritage Foundation report stated that as of early 2024, the average cost for a dozen grade A eggs was approximately $2.52, a 52.6% increase from $1.47 in January 2021. That’s right. A whole $1.05 more for a dozen eggs. Americans were hurting. How could we continue with such a tragedy bludgeoning our nation. Our flag. Our entitlement to an easy life. Because if life is difficult, it doesn’t mean that is the nature of life or that it may present growth opportunities; not having an easy life meant someone was stealing our freedom — our ease of existence. Having cereal for breakfast instead of scrambled eggs isn’t exactly storming the beaches of Normandy. But for today’s America, it sure felt like it.
And so we kicked democracy out of America as if it were an infected bat from China. Take that democracy, and all of your freedoms. We have a dictator for president now, and a Congress so corrupt and evil that it belongs in a Marvel comic book. For eggs, we stacked the Supreme Court with legal ghouls and corporate shills who love to whore out our collective value to craven billionaires obsessed with power and ill-gotten fortunes. We sold out democracy. For eggs.
Enjoy your breakfast.
You fucking assholes.