After American’s B-2 bombing on Iran’s underground nuclear facilities, experts are trying to measure the efficacy of the raid, and how much–if any–of Iran’s 400kg (882lb) stockpile of enriched uranium was destroyed in the operation.
President Trump claims everything was “obliterated” in the raid, which dropped multiple 30,000-pound GBU-57 A/B Massive Ordnance Penetrator “Bunker Buster” bombs on the targets. However, nuclear scientists and uranium experts are skeptical of such claims, pointing out that photos of the aftermath are inconclusive, and that no traces of enriched uranium appear to be present at the bomb sites. Scientists and experts also refer to Trump’s history as a compulsive liar as a source of their doubts, too.
“Keep in mind, Trump also told the entire world he was going to bomb the sites,” said one scientist on the condition of anonymity. “They even announced when the B-2s were on their way. So much for stealth. Trump just can’t maintain any operational security if he feels the information will make him look good. And who knows how many people Pete Hegseth told. Anyway, everyone knew the raid was coming.”
Unlikely Allies: Trump and Ali Khamenei Agree on Bombing Effectiveness
In an unexpected twist, Iran’s Supreme Leader has come out as a vocal supporter of President Trump’s claims and spoke highly of America’s raids on Iran’s nuclear infrastructure.
“I’d like to congratulate President Trump on the excellent precision of his military operation against our nuclear capabilities,” said Ali Khamenei, wiping glowing green goo from his sleeves. “Trump bombed it all–everything we have was obliterated. There is nothing left. Nohing left to hide in secret facilities under another mountain range to the north. Nothing left to see. So I guess we can all be friends, now. But you’ll have to excuse me, I have a commitment I have to get to.”
In response, President Trump issued a message from Air Force One, praising the Iranian Supreme Leader for his kind words. “I always liked Alibaba,” Trump said. “The way they oppress women and the violent force they use to squash freedom in Iran is something America could really learn from. He’s a visionary if you think about it. We have a lot we can learn from each other. The future for our two nations is very bright.”
“Our future is very bright indeed,” said Ali Khamenei, reading Trump’s message via a Zoom interview. “In Iran, our civilization has been around since 4,000 BC. America is 248 years old. Just a baby. Yes, our future together will be very bright. Like the sun. You may even say, like an exploding sun.”
Political Americans is a satirical publication. All articles are parody and should not be taken as factual reporting.