“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t super excited about this opportunity,” said U.S. District Court Judge Aileen Cannon. “I play a fake judge all of the time, so starring as the presiding judge in season two of Jury Duty is really stepping into the next level of my career. It’s a dream come true.”
“I think Aileen would be an excellent addition to the reality series,” said U.S. president and diaper-wearing reality TV star Donald Trump. “As an employee of mine, I can highly recommend her for the role. Aileen takes directions well, and she’s a woman—and, well, we all know the extra perks that come with that. A pretty woman who wants to be famous and on TV… wowza. I wish I was a younger man, that’s for sure.”
“Some women suffer from imposter syndrome,” continued Judge Aileen Cannon. “But not me. I deserve this. This role being offered to me is a big step forward for corrupt, under-qualified women everywhere. I feel the burden of representing unethical women all over the world on my shoulders, but to me that’s a privilege and an honor.”
When asked what other reality TV stars inspire her, Judge Aileen Cannon responded, “Oh, Amy Coney Barrett, for sure. I’m hoping one day we can do a spin-off series on the Supreme Court and have the chance to work together. Aileen and I share the same despotic values and would have such great chemistry. It’s time conservative Christian women started sticking up for each other.”
