“Marie is in stable condition,” said Dr. Aoi Tananka, lead cardiologist at Tokyo Medical University Hospital. “She has had a very difficult week, but thankfully her vital signs are returning and her condition is stable.”

According to the renowned Japanese organizing consultant’s husband, Kawahara Takumi, Marie instantly dropped to the floor of their Tokyo apartment upon seeing images of stolen boxes strewn—”as if they’d fallen from a garbage truck”—throughout Mar-a-Lago, Mr. Trump’s espionage headquarters and resort in Palms Springs, Florida. 

The boxes, full of confidential information vital to U.S. security, were shown on a news report when Kondo, who was folding laundry, instantly suffered a heart attack and fell to the floor. 

“Maybe selling America’s secrets to its enemies sparks joy from Mr. Trump,” Takumi explained, ”but the images of those boxes piled up like some deranged hoarders old printed-out emails—in super creepy places like a bathroom, ballroom, shower, and a bedroom—was just too much for my wife to process.”

Your Political Soul Deserves A Good Laugh

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