“Mission almost accomplished,” joked the former President of the United States, adding the last few strokes to his 500-foot wall mural in Bushwick, Brooklyn. “Done,” he then exhaled, tossing the paintbrush to the ground.
“You know, having the former Popester—I gave him that nickname, you know—actually come back from the dead to bless the painting is a real tribute to the sense of forgiveness I feel from God and my fellow Americans about the Iraq War. Once you get the Popester’s blessing, you’re going to heaven. It’s a done deal.”
“I also love art and painting,” the former President continued, “because it makes me more accessible to people and it helps them forget I’m a monster who invaded the wrong country after 9-11 and lied about WMDs to make my friends rich.”
He continued, “But branding myself as an artistic—and very religious—soul who feels badly about wasting trillions of dollars and countless thousands of innocent lives for a completely useless war is a very strong political move from a strategery standpoint. And having the Popester’s endorsement was a slam dunk. This surreal mural of the Iraq War’s innocent victims really evens everything out for me. I’m all good with God and everyone else too, now.”
