Speaker Mike Johnson has proposed legislation barring mention of any faith besides Christianity, saying that the existence of other faiths is too traumatizing to American Christians and makes them feel bad about themselves.
“Look, we know that even knowing other faiths exist can lead to unpleasant questions and conversations, like, ‘What if we’re not right about everything?’ and we can’t have that.” Johnson said, as he took a hammer to a statue of the Buddha.
“It’s very important that we continue to prop up the egos of Christians, both young and old, so that they may feel confident as they go forth, wrapped in a flag, carrying their crosses, without any sort of understanding or empathy for anyone else.”
When asked if the proposed legislation included Catholicism, Johnson said, “Eh, we’ll discuss. Opus Dei will probably skate by. Dunno about the rest.”
Asked for comment about Mike Johnson’s remarks, Jesus Christ replied, “I don’t know him.”
