“At Trump Properties, we like to embrace the local culture and environment when building our first-class resorts,” said President Trump at Mar-a-Lago, beating a ladybug into a patch of grass with his nine iron. “As we all know, Gaza has a rich history of serving as a playground for the world’s wealthiest families. Sunbathing, body surfing, and beach volleyball under the setting sun will capitalize on that history and attract elite vacationers–and, more importantly, attract their money.”
“Of course,” Trump continued, licking his nine iron clean with his tongue, “the recent history of Gaza has been complicated. So we’re honoring that history by naming our exclusive-access beach the ‘Blood of Children’ beach because we want to be sensitive to the locals and the hardships they’ve endured over the past years. Or decades. Whatever. It’s named in their honor, and they should be very grateful to me and Trump Properties for being so considerate.”
