“America knew what she was doing,” said Donald Trump, sitting at his desk and biting into a cheeseburger. “I’m really the victim. America isn’t even good looking. Very ugly, if fact. And fat. Everyone knows that. Sad.”
“And,” Trump continued, “even if it were true, giving America Trump herpes would actually be an improvement for herpes. I would make herpes better. And she’s a loser. She always has been.”
When asked for comment, America provided this response, reading from a prepared statement. “Donald Trump is now suing me. So, on the advice of my lawyer, I’m declining to discuss the matter beyond the previously revealed facts.” Then America broke into tears, and left the room, followed by her team of lawyers.
“I think maybe America is the one who gave me herpes. That’s what everyone is saying,” Trump said, clutching a fist full of french fries. “I think maybe I should be the one who deserves an apology. This whole thing is politically motivated.”
(Cover photo credit: History in HD)